Percieving the Potholes in Reality…

But what about those in life that are important to me, practical ambitions that had been considered.  Imagination is a gift, without a doubt, but even this can be taken too far, and can lead to getting mentally lost inside neurons and disconnected facts and irrelevant statistics, optimistically preserved in hopes of sparking a nostalgic event at some point in the future. And yet I find myself perpetually separating from any current task when my attention is always kept in the potholes of reality. Potholes. My mind brings me back to trips out to the white water rafting trip my family would take every year.  We would always bring the waters crafts in our vans with swim suits, cut-off jeans, and old hats (which became a part of the water games when things got slow down the river).  My dad would always wear old tennis shoes that had transformed into “river floating shoes”.  That image will always be there, because my dad’s shoes always looked like they belonged to a giant.  Why do memories like this stay?  And are the events we had encountered earlier in life the ones that stick in our long-term memory the more recent ones? I suppose at some point though, a person starts to consider spirituality.  I have always been intrigued by the concept of God, and I learned to respect my parents religion because I respected them. I got along with the habit of being in church on Sundays, youth group Wednesday nights at the youth center, where we would stereotypically play games for like an hour in the evening with that whole time accessible to walk-in, and the next forty-five minutes reserved for a youth-focused message about salvation or forgiveness, and then finishing out with a open house for another forty-five minutes…  But It eventually became stale, and I began to hate that word “religion” even though I still faithfully flowed along with my parents taking me to church, which wasn’t necessarily forced, but c’mon – staying home was even more dull.  I remember always being very intentional about relating with God, but I had grown to associate inside of an evangelical protestant Christianity framework.

Encountering Life Mysteries

I had once thought I had discovered astonishing new concept; I didn’t have a name for it yet, but I just knew it would be revolutionary.  It had to do with words that could be separated by their sounds.  And, as I recall, I thought to myself in the guest room of my grandparents house, “How come no one has discovered this before?”. Many other things have occurred to me over the years, some left unanswered.  It is really an endless journey of “Why do they do it that way?”. Some things now I look back on and the magic of its mechanism is lost in the logistics of on-the-job labor.  Other things remain wondrously mysterious.  Some things I actually would prefer to leave a mystery, because it leaves something else to ponder on later.  I guess there never ceases to be situations that are devoid of some mystery, since one person can only see so much in proportion to his time spend with it, and the understanding of the inner-workings.  But some things are not charted out and mapped.  Some things are intrinsically contained inside my own head.  But if I am not careful, this can be a primary source of amusement, and just let the different informational deposits and influences continuously stir the waters.  And If I were to ever find said waters stale – I’d always be able to find some contemplative thing to satisfy my further imaginative curiosity.  But this is a self-depreciating Pandora’s box!  For one, it does not lead to any real learning, since the majority of the time, there is more stirring than picking and even then, it’s still effortlessly picking rather than laboriously foraging.  It is a subtle decay, taking no less the several decades to detect.  But it may rear its head in an enlarging nievity, such that staying in touch with a changing world, close relationships, and day-to-day projects begin to lose the priority they would otherwise have. Its a kind of ecstasy when leaned on too much, this ravenous curiosity that keeps me smiling and carrying me along on my merry way.